Prepare a martini glass by filling it with ice cubes -- spin the glass for a while to get the glass nice and cold.

Leave the glass alone, and fill a metal cocktail shaker with ice cubes.

Dump your ice cubes out of your glass, and dash with the bitters, then spin your glass to spread the bitters out.

Now measure out your gin and both kinds of vermouth, pouring carefully into the shaker. (Do NOT simply dump your gin in. Gin is a delicate drink, and can "bruise" easily. You *can* taste the difference between gin that's been handled properly and gin that's been abused. Do not abuse alcohol.)

Gently stir the gin in the shaker. Do NOT shake. (James Bond was wrong.)

Very gently, pour the mix into your glass, and add two olives on a spear of some sort. Metal is preferred, wood will do. Do not use plastic. Plastic is for holding peanuts at your local pool hall.

Enjoy quickly -- this drink is all but worthless warm.


Some other notes:

Even though this drink is served in a martini glass, do not call it a martini. Martinis contain gin and vermouth and have a twist. Stray from those ingredients even a little, and you do not have a martini, you have something else. No matter what others call it.

Unlike vodka, you get what you pay for with gin. Spend the money and get Tanqueray. Beefeater will do in a pinch. Bombay Sapphire is for *Gin and Tonics*.

Always use clean glassware, and never re-use your ice.

Get a citrus tool for making your zests with. Soooo much easier.

Be generous with your ice -- It is made of water, afterall.

Get big olives. Sheer size does impress us. ;-)

On that note: always make your ice out of distilled water. Tap water is for making Tang with. You're a grownup, aren't you?

Have all your ingredients at the ready. Cocktails should be made quickly and served very cold.