Go to a cafeteria with a juice dispenser, carrying a squeeze water bottle full of vodka. (Leave the Deer Park/Dasani label on it, so not to raise suspicion.) Fill a standard plastic caf cup with a bit of ice, pineapple juice, and a little cranberry juice. When you get back to your seat, squirt about two shot's worth of vodka into the cup. Enjoy! This drink nicely complements soggy vegetables and questionable fried meat.